Sunday, October 10, 2010

Freak

Today I walked to the grocery store by myself for the first time. I'm starting to feel a little acclimatized, apart from the fact that I still actually remember how to walk, unlike everyone else who seems to be attached by super glue to their car seat. Anyway, off I went to the shop, just like anybody who lives here might.

Now, I long since discovered that going grocery shopping hung over is a bad idea. But I really wanted pancakes for breakfast, so I had to go get pancake mix. Normally I'm way too amazing to use pancake mix, but this morning I wanted to make American pancakes. I haven't yet acquired that skill (Swedish pancakes are basically what Americans would call crêpes). Dollar General didn't have eggs either way.

Being hung over though I didn't only get pancake mix. Among other things I got a big bottle of 100 % lemon juice, a shoe rack and a pretty harvest decoration plant thing. Best of all though, I got this:



A dry eraser board! I was planning on using it for teaching my fiancé Swedish, but it's an absolutely awesome decoration piece. Man, I wish this weren't a rental so we could paint all over the walls. I might end up covering the place in dry eraser boards now. The most awesome invention ever. 

Anyway... what I really wanted to post about was the freak I ran into in the parking lot. Tall half black fellow wearing sunglasses and some kind of hat, and what might have been a suit. Or delirium tremens. 

Guy: How ya doing? 
Me: Good. I wasn't feeling too good carrying my groceries in the sweltering heat, but my autopilot didn't care about getting into that.
Guy: You are a beautiful lady.
Me: Heh, thanks. I'm wearing sunglasses, a ponytail, jeans, the Doors T-shirt I slept in and yesterday's makeup. Plus I'm crouching under the weight of my grocery bags. This guy must be on good drugs.
Guy: Would you like to spend an enjoyable day with an enjoyable man?

The things I would have been capable of telling this dude equal a shorter novel. Like point out all the errors in his style and approach and whole existence, at least on that particular parking lot. Like the foolishness of hitting on anyone before noon. 

 But I just told him I was sorry, but I'd already got one at home. An enjoyable man, that is. I repeated it when he asked "what?", but he still didn't seem to understand what the hell I was talking about. Maybe he'd already forgotten his last sentence.

Characters like that one make my day. And I seem to be like fly paper to them. Is that because I'm a freak, too? Oh well, I don't mind.



2 comments:

  1. Hi, I like that dude in the parking lot! He seems to be a happy guy! And he has good taste!
    Keep uo the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  2. it always cracks me up when men try and pick me up when I look like a dump. really, sir?

    ReplyDelete